"Bill, I am so horny this morning, but the kids are at home. Could you get away this evening and meet me here. We will go to prayer service, but I will leave early, and let Bob bring the children home. It is such a turn-on to fuck you while Bob is preaching at the church." I must say that hearing Sara use such language was somewhat shocking. Last Thursday she was the prim, prudish preacher's wife who probably was not on any man's "to fuck" list, except her husband Bob. But now she was my fuck whore, and her dumb ass husband has no idea that his wife likes to fuck with wild abandon.I told Sara "Carolyn and I fucked like wild dogs yesterday while picking berries on the rail right of way. I just don't know if I can get a hard-on tonight. I will try, and will let you know if the Viagara works. If it does, Bob will have my cock in his wife's cunt tonight." I told her "On your way to church, see if my car was backed in the driveway. That will be the sign that I can get a hard. Note: This works best when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they’re talking about.Help your humans learn patience. When you go outside to ‘pee’, sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.Funny, I don’t remember being absent minded.A lady walks into an Ice Cream Parlor and asks “could I please have a gallon of chocolate ice cream?”The salesman replies, “I’m sorry miss, we just sold our last gallon of chocolate ice cream a few minutes ago. Could I interest you in another flavor?”So the lady replies, “Ok then, I’ll just have a quart of chocolate ice cream”The salesman replies, “I’m sorry. We don’t have any chocolate ice cream.”The lady then asks “all right, then could I have a just a pint of chocolate ice cream?”.
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